The Escape
by Zskax
Summary: The Joker, capital T, capital J, escapes the hospital which the police so graciously sent her to for treatment before shipping her off to Arkham for abuse. A slight glimpse of her brain's workings along the way. FEMALE!Joker (she aint nice :D :D )


The Joker, capital T, capital J, slammed into the guard stationed outside her hospital room, unprepared that a petite thing like her would ram her whole body with such brute strenght at him. She grabbed his hair and smashed open the fire extinguisher container with his head. Quickly her small, slender fingers caressed the fire extinguisher and she ran towards the exit, grinning for the screaming masses crying for help.

They came after her and she twirled like a ballerina. Hit that one over the head. The nurse fell with a resounding thump, the white coats (not ready for someone like her to escape - ''wasn't she tied up?'' ''she was!'' ) tried to stop her. She escaped. Like she had done so many, many times before.

Doctors staggered to the ground, bloody noses and hurt egos. Laughter trickled out of her mouth and she let it loose like a turrent of despair and glee mixed into a pool of wrath hiding unimaginable indifference.

The guards shot at her and she dodged, fell behind an open door shielding her from the hailstorm of her consequences rattling in her brain. Her falsetto scared them and she tried to make it go higher. Her hair was wet and matted. Fingers clutched at the extinguisher like a lifeline, eyes cool and calculating. Counting. Counting.

No more.

FUCK THEM

She jumped out and screamed when her extinguisher connected face to face with the commissioner. Wrong move, comish. Grin widened, eyes crazed, laughter louder louder louder!

It was so terribly nice of them to put her in an actual hospital to get treated before they shipped her off to Arkham for abuse. So kind. She'll have to repay them. Hit. Punch. Bite. Slam your fucking head at them for fuck's sake. Pain is good. Pain is exhilarating. Fuck. Fuck.

The concussion was not helping. Bile travelled up her throat and she swallowed it back hastily. Dizzy dizzy dizzy makes the world all too fizzy, The Joker laughed.

She fought through the crowd and even after a few swings they let her pass without much fuss. Alarms rang and sirens squealed , but all she saw was Harley's genuine joy blossoming across her beautiful face. It fell off and so did the police officer behind her. ''ATTA GIRL, MY HARLEY GIRL!'' The Joker called out to her.

''MS J! GET IN!'' She pried open the car door and revealed one of her top clowns at the driving wheel. Loyal hounds. To think she thought of killing them on multiple occasions. Expandable they were, but The Joker knew not to throw things out before their expiration date.

She pivoted on her heel, bare feet skittering on the icy concrete bellow, aimed her extinguisher at the door and turned it on, backing away towards the car as she did so and laughed. It sounded scratchy now, like her voice was going to give out or she was. Fuck. She was not well. They'd need to visit an underground doc, something she had hoped to avoid.

The car door shut and she kissed Harley like a feverish raver. Her tongue trashed in the little Harlequin's mouth. The nameless minion drove fast and manoeuvred them out of the police's reach.

''Did you bring my suit?'' The Joker broke the kiss and asked. Harley nodded aggressively, pigtails bobbing and eyes beaming for approval. She grabbed Harley by one of her pigtails and brought her back to kissing. The little sidekick melted in her grasp and The Joker often wondered what it would be like to feel like that for someone.

She tied back her hair in a pony tail and shouted, ''FLOOR IT, JIMBO!'' Whether his name was Jimbo or not seemed irrelevant at the time. He was in her line of work and alive, the rest were trivialities.

Good thing she scheduled this escape while dear old Batsy was in a meeting , counting his millions and doing charity work.

The thing about The Joker was that they underestimated her. Almost everyone did until she proved them wrong. There was just one person who never underestimated her from the start (moreover it could be because she heard about her when her career as the clown princess of crime had picked up)

Batgirl swooped onto their car and shouted, her pretty voice filling The Joker's insides with a gooey feeling of delight. The Joker shimmied into her big, purple suit jacket and brandished the pistol hiding beautifully, tucked away inside one of her pockets. The hospital gown did not suit her, her thighs rubbed into one another and there weren't any pockets to hide ammo in. She felt _naked_.

''Wish me luck, Harls.'' She winked and twirled her gun with expertise fingers.

''Good luck, Puddin'!''

Out the car window. Out out out. Harley's got you. Jimbo won't drive himself into a ditch just to kill you. Out out out.

Batgirl threw herself into her job. She danced and her moves were an array of punches and swings. The Joker tried to dodge them, most of which she did, but the one brutal hit to her breast enticed a hiss of pain out of her. She played dirty, this little bat did. Good. The crazed glint to her eyes ignited and she fell back towards the hood of the car.

''PUDDIN. YOU NEED HELP?''

''JUST DRIVE !'' Dodge dodge dodge. Fuck. Twirl. Hold the gun. Don't let it fall.

''What do you even hope to accomplish?''

''Well,'' she licked her lips and enjoyed the beauty of this girl willing to take her out, what a charming sidekick. Commissioner ought to be proud. ''Freedom for one.'' Her finger curled around the trigger and she laughed, but didn't raise it yet. ''My second agenda is, of course, Batsy's handsome face grinning like I am.'' At this Batgirl charged with full force at her.

Adrenaline sparked an idea in her mind. She clutched her gun and taunted the little she-bat. Dodge. Dodge dodge _dodge_! **AAnd _shoot_!**

The bullet hit the she-bat's spine and the scream that erupted from her rose lips thrilled the Joker – aroused her even. Oh God, WHAT **WILL** _BATSY_ **_DO_**?! Beat her. Hurt her. KILL HER?

Laugh! LAUGH! _LAUGH_!

She felt Harley scratching at her bare leg. The Joker stopped laughing and stomped down on her hand. Harley's yelp only irritated her.

''WHAT,'' the Joker snarled, ''is it Harley?''

''Get in, Puddin,'' she cried, ''please get back in the car. Wouldn't wanna get recaptured right?''

She could actually feel the disgusting pitch of Harley's voice ram fingers down her throat and force her to throw up. Laughter. Trickling calmly. Enter the car. Harley always helps. Jimbo won't drive ya into a ditch. Batsy is only allowed to do that. WHAT WILL BATSY DO? Sit in your seat. Cross your legs. Blink the fatigue away.

The Joker turned around to see the Batgirl's body sprawled out on the street, a marionette with its strings cut, lying on the floor – useless and in pain. She licked her lips and looked back to the road.

''Harls,'' she whispered gently. Jimbo flinched, but didn't voice his concern over his safety. Good lad.

''Yeah, Puddin?'' Don't make eye contact with her. Watch the road. Smile. Slow. Big. You're happy. Batsy's going to kill you. Just get the father next. Then his Jeeves. Then …well…you've already gotten him by that point. Just like you. Harvey's coin metaphor torn apart and reconstructed so the premise is the same but the coin is constantly landing on the side.

''Get out.'' Don't laugh. Do that when she opens the door and turns around expecting you to tell her it's a joke. Her existence is a joke that's lost its appeal. Why didn't she die when she threw her out that window? Incompetent even at dying.

''Ms Jay...'' She squirmed in her seat and watched the Joker for a second before looking back at Jimbo.

The car was moving, fast. Her clear fingers – not green like hers oh no no no Harley has such pretty nails – gripped the car door. Slowly she opened it and Jimbo hit on the breaks hard, causing the Joker to fly forward. She hit her head , but when hadn't she hit her head one way or another?

Harley took this opportunity to jump out and run.

The Joker _cackled_. She still had her gun – which she aimed straight at Jimbo's head – never Harley's for some reason – and she watched him. Observed him. What was Jimbo? Loyal to _Harley_.

BANG!

Harley ran faster.

Jimbo didn't even beg. Didn't cry. He probably wasn't even aware that he was going to die. Good lad.

The Joker calmly opened the door and pushed the corpse out, sliding into the driver's seat while giggling. She started the car and drove towards a hideout. The Bat signal in her rear-view mirror her only audience.

* * *

REALLY CURIOUS WHAT YOU GUYS THINK OF THIS!

I GOT BACK INTO DC AND IM LOVIIIING ITTTTT 3 3

SAW THE KILLING JOKE

EXPECT SMTH ABOUT IT TOO :D :D :D


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